chushekman's Xanga

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:15:14 GMT

On-call again, 8th call of this month......

Recently start considering any chance for me to change my mind, give up orthopaedics and work in other surgical teams...dunno why such idea arise....may be I still have no chance to do orthopaedics still being a MO

Actually Cardiothoracic surgery (my current rotation) is quite interesting, and very challenging, but the road to become a competent surgeon in this field is way too long....

Sometimes I just doubt myself if I really have enough motivation and determination to become a really competent surgeon...seems I need to learn more from now on

OK...so set October as another new beginning..

And also...soon will resume life which just includes medicine and hockey mostly...that's good

Monday, September 18, 2006

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 10:16:43 GMT

so the lady can be transferred to ICU now, kind of struggling with her ET tube...the first time I see patient can survive with pH 6.9, BE-22, she probably has 4.5L fluid at extra vascular compartment, which may actually be more than her total blood volume..that's really the limit of human....but the terrible infection...still a very long way for her...

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 16:30:07 GMT

Another long night....facing some uncertainties...and again it perfectly reflected how little confidence I have in myself...2 and a half months passed...learned something, but still much to learn...the first time to really feel sorry for my patient...33yrs old lady, charm-looking, now lying on bed for 2 days, pending multi-organ failure, pending the only curative treatment : open heart surgery, but a re-do one....1/3 of mortality...you have to feel sorry for that, and you are so helpless, you can provide nothing, even finding a proper IV cannula access is extremely difficult, it takes the patient and us 3 hours to insert a femoral long line....

get my thumb injured again....being a surgeon, it's an unforgiveable sin...you never admit how useless you are until you get your most precious tool damaged and just can do nothing...I really get irritated...

Better set some new targets for myself during working....ok...to be able to perform an urgent bronchoscopy would be quite cool...so...better work for that..

and hockey soon will resume

Hope I won't get lost during on the way...

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 16:18:41 GMT

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 17:22:33 GMT

a TOTAL failure tonight.....what's wrong?

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 17:33:25 GMT

6 months had gone till I drop this new piece of message here....

Sitting in front of the computer for 2 hours....doing nothing, mind keeps wandering...Can I say it is a kind of mind searching?..keeps thinking and reflecting what kind of person I am...keep doing this for the recent months actually....for unknown reason

Getting intimidated all the times by the unforeseeable challenges..Chu Simon is just the kind of person who need full preparation before getting the confidence to face the problem...which is right now..I find this difficult

Life is no longer as simple as what I always try to keep that in the student years...

Monday, September 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 15:35:29 GMT

Long time no entry..So many things happened..

You witness how fragile a life can be

Hope I can learn from that

Monday, June 27, 2005

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 10:37:54 GMT

just now dig out the VCD about the interhall hockey in Year 2, produced and burned by 2 wing, one of my mentors in hockey...so vivid the memories are, the teammates (that year) still remain the good friends, in the sense that we know we had all gone through something together (so SJC....shit.)

work in the child ward for some days already, still not yet succeed in taking blood from the crying babies...PK la

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 13:31:54 GMT

Bouncebackability....I like this word...

Suddenly those good friends in La Salle popped up at the same time. It reflected my indifference to them after the secondary school days ( which is definitely shit..), on the other hand, we could still share honestly our feelings..amazing..

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 03:28:58 GMT

really not much time left to play or teach the hall team

I enjoy doing that, because I think they like playing hockey

I hope they enjoy, this the most important thing.